Marcia Sherrill
Resolution Solutions
Marcia’s (not-physician-recommended) tips for a beguiling new year

Traditionally, it is the advent of the New Year that has us all lined up for the torture and self-deprivation of resolutions. But this year we need to just cancel all that nonsense. We have suffered enough already! The recession has hit us all hard, and the doom and gloom that’s broadcast non-stop into our homes, our offices and even our iPhones has given us a collective national headache. I, for one, have simply announced to anyone who will listen (OK, that means mother, Jojo, daughter, Anabelle and puppy, Turtle Pie—but it is an audience nonetheless) that this year will be my best ever, so I certainly do not intend to ruin it at the outset with more punishment.

Will I be exercising? Are you kidding me? Gravity is a harsh mistress and she may as well have her way with me. We can’t stay naturally toned and tanned forever so let’s be graceful about the changes and, like all Southern ladies before us, take to wearing gloves. The legs are the last to go, so keep them trim by walking from the car to the tanning booth. There I’ve said it—yes, fling yourself into a tanning bed! Our forefathers and mothers toiled year-round under a cruel sun and they lived (however briefly). You may as well feel tan and happy and well-fed. Yes, eat whatever you like. In fact, eat more of whatever you like. Let’s agree not to diet.

Now that you are brimming with Godiva chocolates you may as well hit some sales racks. Yes, fiscal responsibility be damned. We tried that as a nation and see where it got us? If something is on sale, you have a moral and ethical obligation to buy it. You have suffered enough. You need new boots, and thanks to the panic-stricken retailers you can now afford them.

While on the delightful topic of spending, do not confuse this with spending more time with your family. There are pesky relatives (OK, call them what they are—siblings, children and parents) who you must put in time-out. Spend more precious time with saleswomen, chocolate vendors, tanning room attendants, manicurists and the like because they like you. They really, really like you.